Is it possible to love a Woman when you identify as a Woman?
Today, The Lesbionic invites us to wonder about love, as a rebellious act against a system that tries to make us repress our human emotions.
So many questions and we want answers… it’s time to take our power back! It’s time to end violence against women!
Good morning The Lesbionic, can you share with us your experience with love?
The snow is taking over Berlin and you ask me to wonder about love? Alright, only because I have nowhere else to go when there is a worldwide pandemic outside. From the day I started to understand this emotion that requires practice, the patriarchal society implanted the idea in me that I wasn’t worthy of love. Patriarchy is a system based on heteronormativity, where only heterosexuality is promoted and accepted. Under these terms, women are only useful as “ovens” to carry men’s babies. All other forms of romantic love (like homosexuality) are rejected and kept under strict silence. For a long time, I believed that love wasn’t for me. I saw my queerness as something to hide, something wrong. A deviation from what was expected of me. As a woman that loves women, I wasn’t given the opportunity to understand myself. No representation on how to deal with being different.
Well, let me reassure you, dear patriarchy: NO! THE Lesbionic won’t comply. Does she even want to carry men’s babies? I don’t think so. What she wants is all rights on her body and mind.
Your first mistake was to be born with female attributes and you expect us to accept your second mistake of wanting to get involved romantically with another woman? Better find a nice man. Carry his babies and achieve your life purpose quietly. Love is secondary in this equation, they said.
Starting from our parents, to our schoolteachers, to our bosses, to our life partners… let them know that we will love and are worthy of it, no matter what.
What does it mean to have a life purpose?
Human life is limited. We are all subject to a time limit. We all live under the permanent threat of death. The only certainty is that I will live my life and die. Many have tried to deny this fact. They are all dead now. Under this human condition, my life purpose is to love as much as I can. Understanding that I can choose my life purpose and that I am the owner of my body even if I was born with female attributes. The social system is selling “straight” love as a commercial romantic ideal where two people of opposite genders come together but remain strangers all their lives.
If you follow the social image of being the “perfect” feminine woman, you will be able to trade your body and happiness for a marriage agreement with a wealthy man, they said.
History teaches us to know better. We must question and change the social structure that is, by nature, in permanent restructuration. Even if the act of loving still feels like a revolution when you are a woman that loves another woman, I beg you to never repress this feeling. Love has always been, and will always be, what human beings do best. All your repressed emotions are stored in your subconscious mind anyways. They will resurface later in another form like chronic pain if you continue to shove them away.
Do you have a romantic ideal?
My romantic ideal changed drastically when I started my coming out journey. I always understood romantic love as the communion of two individuals: a team building to go through life together. Growing up, all stereotypes made me believe that I could dream about my ideal partner if and only if this person had male attributes. Now that I identify as a proud feminist lesbian, I realize how much damage and how much rejection I put myself through when conditioning romance with gender. After a long journey towards self-acceptance, I chose to get involved romantically with women because that is what my heart wanted. When I allowed my being to shine and to love without condition, all areas of my life were positively impacted. I no longer felt the need to be seen and understood as “normal”. I became part of a worldwide wonderful LGBT+ community. My feelings of aloneness found relief. You should know that nobody can fulfill your inner basic human need of attachment if you are disconnected from your true self. Armed with this knowledge, I see every day as a new opportunity to strengthen the loving relationship to myself. I was able to share this revelation with my partner only after realizing that I was worthy of love. Beyond a romantic ideal, I choose to love without expectation. I love because I am alive. Because I understand the power of spreading it on all the people that are part of my life.
“Then one will also recognize that while one is consciously afraid of not being loved, the real, though usually unconscious fear is that of loving. To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person”, Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving, p. 118.
What can I do if the people in my life make me feel less because I am a woman in love with another woman?
The existence of such people is what prevents the collapse of a whole system based on lies (ciao patriarchy). I am here to share another story, another reality that creates hope for change. Any person that makes you feel unworthy of love (for whatever reason), should be removed from your life. Yes, it is extremely painful if we are talking about your own family. You can always try to make them come to reason. However, if they refuse to understand your sexuality then it is their decision to stay in the dark. It is their loss, never yours.
The Lesbionic found NOT Fun Facts…
Yes, it is possible to love a woman when you are a woman and if that is your case: you are a lucky individual. Scientific studies revealed that the orgasm frequency is higher for lesbian women than for straight women. Below is disclosed the result of one of them:
“Heterosexual men were most likely to say they usually-always orgasmed when sexually intimate (95%), followed by gay men (89%), bisexual men (88%), lesbian women (86%), bisexual women (66%), and heterosexual women (65%).”, Frederick, St John, Garcia and Lloyd, Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S. National Sample, 2017.
Any comment on the above The Lesbionic?
This scientific paper is a spectacular way of showing how the patriarchal system makes us believe that men will orgasm no matter what, but women? Nobody cares… Well, I do care, and you should start caring too. Let’s educate humankind about the wonders of the clitoris: key to women pleasure!
The Lesbionic Quote of the day…
“My life purpose is not about being loved but rather about the act of loving.” (22/02/2021)
The Lesbionic found Hope…
Any form of love will be celebrated and encouraged by all individuals that you really need in your life. Love is stronger than fear and ignorance. You are free to come out (as a lesbian, as a bisexual, as a pansexual, as a feminist, as an enlighten human…) and to choose courage at any stage of your life.
Ten baby steps towards love:
- Reclaim your loving nature, your emotions are valid and should never be repressed.
- Gender is not a condition for love and your sexual orientation is not shameful.
- If you fall in love with your best friend, tell her.
- Celebrate love every day by loving yourself no matter what.
- Realize that there is no timeline in the coming out process, each individual journey is valid.
- Find your nearest LGBT+ center and participate in the community events.
- Move away from people that make you feel unworthy of love.
- Keep discovering the rainbow in your personality and show it to the world.
- When somebody ask you who “the man in the relationship” is, simply answer that there is no man in the relationship.
- Enjoy the most wonderful sexual experiences of your life.
The Lesbionic Disclaimer…
The state of confusion you are under will never disappear completely but each step that you decide to take towards your true self will always be an act of love.